The Difference Between Needles In The Eyes and a Knife In The Heart

So, yeah, I was picking on Henley the other day for his published comment comparing singing "Desperado" for the umpteenth time to "needles in the eyes." Case in point: here's Springsteen, no spring chicken either, performing his epic "Jungleland" in 2009. He recorded it in 1975 and has been singing it ever since. 34 years later, the tempo is a little slower, the beat just a little bigger, and his voice is, admittedly, pretty shot, but the intensity is unmistakable. He meant it then and he means it even more now. He's not blowing through the lyrics like Bob Dylan and he's not phoning it in like many other stars have admitted. We're comfortable with the framing of the camera being that tight on Springsteen because he's present. And while every moment might not be new, it is realized, and he's telling his story as only he can tell it.

Me 'n Andy

So, this kid I've been training since he was a sixth grader is now 18 and has been accepted to the Musical Theater wing of the Tisch School at NYU.  Always a good singer, I worked him hard on technique and when he was in junior high, he got a two year gig with The Rockettes doing their Christmas spectacular-awesome-holiday-thing.  I think they did something like thirty shows a day....   Anyway, he had two very fun seasons at Radio City Music Hall but during that time, he did what all kids do; he got taller and his voice started changing.  And the competition got better.  So our next task -- if he wanted to stay in the business -- was that we had to work our way out of cute kid/great singer mode and into the ever expanding and complex universe of performance.  Not easy for a perfect kid who could nail any line reading or inflection he was given by an adult.
Vocal Technique can be learned in less than a year.  Vocal Performance, on the other hand, is a life-long quest.  It's the  process of turning off the cameras of self-observation.  Some poor, tortured performers have quite a few cameras going at the same time.  Their attention becomes compromised when they concern themselves with elements outside of their control -- only to then start focusing on how poorly the elements within their control are appearing.  It can be pretty unsatisfying.  Today in the Times, the Eagles' Don Henley was quoted saying that he only rarely feels the song "Desperado" and that most of the time, it's like sticking needles in his eyes.  Now, I like Don, he's a totally cool guy and a great songwriter but what he is telling us is that, by focusing on the needles in his eyes, he is only observing himself in performance and it's a grind.  Instead of doing everything he can to bring "Desperado" to life for four minutes a night -- every night, he vacates the spiritual realm of the song, parks his intellect elsewhere and goes to a commercial; in front of thousands of paying customers.
Back to Andy; his next performance will be his most important (as it should be with performers...).  He's singing a no-fireworks, simple song out of "Spring Awakening" in front of hundreds of people at his school.  Nothin' too high, nothin' too low, the melody doesn't really go anywhere, but it has tons of lyrical complexity that can take a singer down in a moment if the cameras of self-observation suddenly flip on or if he goes on a mental vacay.
And next year, this kid with more professional theater experience than a majority of his peers will start all over again learning musical theater at NYU.
And, once again, it's time to let go.  For both of us.               

...aaaaand the casting continues.....

Made four offers to four amazing ladies yesterday and received positive responses from each one. Now we have roles yet to fill and a short list of possible alternates, understudies, and subs that have auditioned -- that I will eventually be pleading with on the phone...

ME: "Hi, it's Bill Haller calling to wish you a Happy Arbor Day and ask if you would consider understudying our show...
SINGER/DANCER/ACTOR PERSON: "Eff off!!"
(dial tone)

(End of Scene.)




 

Real Drunk Audition Hangover

First audition day went far better than expected.  Kelly had a last minute, early call in time at Disney, so she was unable to see any of the auditions, which was too bad because she has a great laugh and would have been knocked out seeing the ladies dance to Amy's choreography.  I certainly was.  David came in with a ton of preparation and was in command; fun and decisive in his approach.  His great energy and attention serve to "push" performers into either stepping up and matching the intensity he brings or backing down and retreating into one's personal cave. Auditions, to me, are always an exercise in discomfort, so the sooner we take our frailty and stick it in our backpocket, the better.  Best to get to the task of pretending we're the biggest stars in the world and completely owning the (49-seat) theatre.
Wearing my "vocal guy" hat was probably the simplest task of the day.  Since we are working to track (an iPod into a sound system -- welcome to the 21st century musical audition), the primary criterion for moving forward was "we have to be able to hear everything."  Being close to the action, I got to hear some lovely voices, but if the "Streisand belt" (the way she sounded circa 60's-70's) wasn't a part of the singer's chops rep, there would be relatively little chance for a lovely voice to be heard over a disco track.  Donna Summer is a classic example of a belt that gets heard over booty-shakin'....  
David's going to take a day or two to wrestle with some casting options and then the production team will get into the discussion.  
I'm going to keep posting Real Drunk demo tracks to Soundcloud as a fun exercise.  You might be able to hear me screwing stuff up or laughing or even autotuning like T Pain -- sometimes all hell breaks loose when I layer a vocal while trying to find the right melody.  They're just demos and I continually learn from them.  You can leave comments right on the track at specific parts if there's anything you like or anything that bugs you.  Feel free.
Thanks to everybody for coming out to audition yesterday.  I really enjoyed spending time you and look forward to seeing you again!

Auditions For "The Real Drunk Housewives of the San Fernando Valley"

Couldn't be happier about announcing this audition! And couldn't be prouder of the team that's been assembled. Kelly Bashar is a supremely talented actor/writer/singer -- I'm not sure about her dancing chops -- you've seen her in film/TV, around town with the Impro Theatre and is currently appearing in the award-winning hit musical parody "Fellowship!" as a big-footed singing Hobbit at the Steve Allen Theatre, for which she also served as lead writer . David Jahn, a fine working actor in his own right, directed the Sunday Show for the Groundlings for several years -- he's also amazing and the list of people he's worked with is extraordinary. Choreographer Amy Langer Schwartz has toured the world as a musical theatre dancer/singer and has performed her own one-woman shows in New York and L.A.
So where does that put you?
The door's open, come join us!

“The Real Drunk Housewives of the San Fernando Valley”

-- a one hour Reality TV musical parody/review 

Book, Music and Lyrics written by Kelly Bashar and Bill Haller

Choreography by Amy Langer Schwartz

Directed by David Jahn

Six females ages 25 to 50's, any/all ethnicities encouraged, MUST SING, look wealthy
Should have a power pop belt (a la American Idol/Wicked) Low F to High Db/E and be able to hold harmony
Great comedic timing and an ability to improvise
Excellent physical condition with strong movement/dance ability

Rene - 30's - 40's Oversexualized former bikini model, pop/musical theatre belt
Trudy - 30's - 50's A rich Brit -- or is that really where the accent’s from?, pop/musical theatre belt
Riley - 30's - 40's Plastic surgery addict, pop/musical theatre belt
Rikki - 30's - 40's Former Child Star -- Riley’s sister, pop/musical theatre belt
Olivia -  40's Orange County type -- stuck in the 80’s, pop/musical theatre belt
Pepsi - 25 - 40's Thick Hispanic accent -- from Guadalamexibrazil, pop/musical theatre belt  
Male -  Upwardly mobile producer/host, age 35 to 55 must sing a G and be able to improvise  

Previews begin Saturdays in July at The Complex (Oh My Ribs Entertainment)
Opens Saturdays in August at 10:00p with possible extension

For Appointment Times:
Electronic Submissions ONLY to rdhotsfv@gmail.com
Auditions to be held Sunday, May 20 from 12:00 to 4:00
at Oh My Ribs Entertainment
6468 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood
http://www.ohmyribs.com/#!location|csxp

AUDITION MATERIAL AVAILABLE on Soundcloud at
http://soundcloud.com/realdrunkhousewivesshow

Click on the "Show All" button just under the demos to get the audition songs...
To get the lyrics, just click on the particular song title and it will take you to the lyrics page. Show will be sung to pre-recorded track, so please look hot and have the song prepared!